4 Lessons I Learned During Our Pastoral Role Reversal

My name is Keith Buttram. I have been blessed with a wonderful wife, Jennifer, and 3 kids (Sadie, Chloe, and Andrew) that are each different from one another while seeming to be perfect blends of both of us. I serve as the lead pastor of Temple Baptist Church in Springdale, Arkansas.

TBC is my home church and where I served on staff as the youth pastor for 11 years before my pastor, Don Elmore, who had pastored TBC for 37 years, retired. The church called me to be the new pastor, which came with many, many learning opportunities. And that is especially true in the area of pastoral succession when the retiring pastor stays as part of the congregation, which is what Pastor Elmore, his wife Lona, and their adult children wished to do. After all, TBC hadn’t only been their place of worship. It was filled with memories. It was made up of friends and family. It was their home.

Here are 4 of the lessons I have learned from this transition.

Lesson 1: Give Honor where Honor is Due

And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. Be at peace among yourselves. - 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13

This is so very important. Anyone that has served in the same ministry for decades has demonstrated faithfulness and dedication to the Lord and the church. They should be honored and celebrated!

It may be tempting to want to separate yourself from their leadership style or accomplishments, but acknowledging what they have done and how they have ministered over the years shows that you appreciate them, their service, and their sacrifice. And remember, what they have done was accomplished with the congregation you are now pastoring. When you celebrate your retiring pastor and his family, you are celebrating your church family at the same time. You also show your church that you are ready to build on all the good that has come before and are not seeking to wipe out a history that they have experienced and been a part of forming.

Celebrating Pastor Elmore and Miss Lona has always been easy to do because they have been so humble and gracious over the years. One of the first things I led our church to do was to name Pastor Elmore our Pastor Emeritus, and as I did, he and Miss Lona were trying to slip out the back in order to not draw attention away from me and my family! Your situation may be a little more difficult, but it will be worth it when your church family sees you support them.

Lesson 2: Guard Your Heart

A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones. -Proverbs 14:30

I have had multiple opportunities over the last seven years to take offense at the comments or actions of church members. Some have compared me to Pastor Elmore or my style to his. For instance, after Pastor Elmore fills the pulpit on a Sunday, someone will say something like:

“Pastor Keith, it sure was good to hear Brother Don this morning!”

Or when there is a significant day in the life of their family, such as a wedding or funeral, and they insist on Pastor Elmore officiating.

I could easily be bothered by these kinds of things, if I haven’t guarded my heart against bitterness or envy. But instead, I have to see it as another opportunity for me to honor Pastor Elmore, and more importantly, demonstrate humility in the situation. Rather than getting upset that someone enjoys his preaching, I let them know that I do, too, and that I hope we both get the opportunity to hear him again sometime soon. If someone insists on using Preacher (as some of us fondly refer to him) for their special day, I use it as a chance to reflect on what it means to have the kind of impact on a family that they feel compelled to include you in their meaningful life events. It demonstrates what relationships can be like with my church family after I have ministered to them along the peaks and valleys of their lives.

I just know that if I am not careful, being envious of the love that the people of TBC have for Pastor Elmore and Miss Lona is just going to make me miss out on what God is doing now and maybe even make it more difficult to receive that same kind of love from my church family. Not to mention, the glory and the praise really belong to the Lord anyway.

Lesson 3: Allow His Relationship Capital to Work for You

You have probably heard of the term “relationship capital”. If you haven’t, it is the idea that, just like you can build up financial capital over time that you can spend as you need to, you can build up relationship capital. This is trust that you have built up over time with the people that you have relationships with. And you can rely on that trust when you try new things or make changes that might seem risky. Most likely, your retired pastor has built up significantly more relationship capital with your long term church members than you have had a chance to do. Don’t neglect to continue building your relationship with your retired pastor while at the same time building it with the church. Your retired pastor can then, as he trusts you, speak on your behalf to the people that he can’t help but continue to influence, investing his relationship capital in your vision. His support brings their support. And your continued support of him builds their trust in you. It is a win-win cycle!

Preacher continues to lead our senior adult ministry, along with another retired pastor, Pastor Jim Goodman. (And let me just tell you, having another retired pastor around that knows the importance of supporting the pastor and that loves to serve is invaluable!) Together, along with Miss Lona and Brother Jim’s wife, Debbie, they are always quick to speak highly of my wife and I. And we make sure to speak highly of them and support their work with our seniors.

This all leads to a church that is much more likely to “buy in” to the ministries of the church, especially when we are doing something different than we have done before.

Lesson 4: Take Advantage of Experience

And finally, don’t neglect to seek out wisdom from those that have it! In my situation, I have at my fingertips someone that has been doing this for nearly as long as I have been alive. I know that in our culture, both within the church and without, it seems like we are always looking for the new way of doing something. But there are times that nothing beats experience. Scripture tells us:

But he who heeds counsel is wise. - Proverbs 12:15b
Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days. - Proverbs 19:20

I can think of so many times when I have gone to Pastor Elmore with questions, from how to best come along side a family in our church that is hurting, a family that he has known for 25 years or so, to how to handle a difficult staff situation. And each time, he has had insights that I don’t have. He is often aware of family dynamics that I’m not. He has handled staff disagreements and conflicts. He is quick to listen, and there when I need advice.

Take advantage of your retired pastor’s years of experience ministering to your congregation, connecting to your community, and walking closely with the Lord. And especially if he has been your pastor prior to retiring, let him continue to shepherd you as you shepherd your church family.

Conclusion

My first 7 years of pastoring have been filled with lessons in ministry. I am grateful to have been able to go through them with my pastor, Don Elmore, as part of my church. If you find yourself pastoring a church where the former pastor has retired, I hope that you can both work together in humility and harmony, honoring each other. Remember to guard your heart against any kind of envy or contentiousness, giving all the glory to God where it belongs. Allow your retired pastor’s hard work and dedication to the Lord and the church to work for you. Seek out and listen to wisdom from someone that has been exactly where you are. And maybe your pastor will introduce you to others like Pastor Elmore does me:

“Have you met my pastor? This is Pastor Keith.”