4 Lessons I Learned From 2 Decades of Ministry.

I would share my name, but due to the sensitive nature of the work done by missionaries I serve around the world, I keep a low virtual footprint. Over twenty years ago, I ran off to the mission field to serve in a dark place where the body of Christ did and still does suffer persecution. Currently, I serve in the US as the director of member care and crisis management for the organization that sent me, and I attend and serve as a deacon at Orlando Baptist Church in Orlando, FL. These lessons are a few of the things I’ve learned along the way.

Lesson 1: Ministry has seasons.

At 22, my best contribution was being a tall goofy American that attracted enough attention to easily make friends with local students with whom we would begin gospel conversations. ‘Ministry’ often meant late nights hosting them in my apartment for evangelistic parties and deep discipleship conversations. By 26, I was married and now a team leader. My job shifted to spending most of my time empowering and equipping those I led. At 34, I moved into a regional leadership position and my job was to give direction to city-focused ministry teams in three mega-cities. I traveled more and carried heavier burdens.

By 40 I found my best contribution was to shepherd our people through difficulty with my gifts of crisis management and member care. The earlier years mattered. I draw so much from those years, often looking back at my own crises, but the main lesson I learned is that those seasons each had a value of their own. What I did in a particular season may not be my long term focus, but each season built a foundation from which to draw and reminded me of how the Lord builds us, often slowly but faithfully.

Lesson 2: The called person changes.

Going back to those epochs of my career…22…26…34…now in my mid-40’s, my role was not the only thing to change. Each stage refined me, and the current stage is still doing so. Throw in the big moments of life—like marriage, becoming parents, adoption, moving to the U.S., a bout with cancer, etc—and it’s hard to imagine not having changed some.

Don’t misunderstand. Nothing changed about what I believed. I’ve seen some close personal friends experience that type of change, and it grieves me deeply. I’ve hung on to the foundation of my faith and the truth of God’s word.

What I’ve seen God do is that he gets me ready for every stage. In my later years overseas, I handled many crises, carried many burdens, didn’t care for myself well, and then…cancer. There’s another story there, but what he did through that was he taught me how to rest well, build margin, and in turn, capacity. Now it’s my job to handle stressful situations, but my systems for managing stress and its impact are more robust than they ever were. This was his equipping process to prepare me for what I do now.

Lesson 3: My family goes with me and participates.

Have you ever asked a missionary kid where they’re from? Try it once. You’ll get a mouthful. It’s always a mix of, “I was born in _____, but I live in _____, and my parents are from _____, but I’m a U.S. citizen…so…yeah”. I didn’t always do this right, but by the time we transitioned to the U.S. the lesson finally crystallized for me, and it happened when my wife started a two year Master of Arts in Counseling program while our four kids were in grades 4-6. Life was going to be different. Dad was going to cook a lot, and we would all have to sacrifice. I constantly reminded them that this is one of the things to which God has called our family. We are all participating in this, and we all make sacrifices.

Ministry is hard, and family cohesiveness and buy-in, especially with teenagers, is a game changer. Since my wife’s graduation, we have been involved in ministry in our church. Every one of our children is expected to serve on a regular basis, even when they don’t feel like it, and this summer, three of them decided to go on mission trips and the other one volunteered to serve in our church VBS. They aren’t perfect, but we can see the effect of requiring their participation and teaching them that following Christ is worth whatever it costs them.

I do want to add one caveat. I know that not everyone has the privilege of having their own nuclear family to lead, but I think this truth applies to whoever you call family. Perhaps your aging parents are called to walk with you in a special way. Maybe it’s your closest friends or a family that has become like family to you. Don’t be afraid to call those you love to walk with you and bear their own crosses as you follow Christ.

Lesson 4: There’s always more to learn.

If you’ve read this far, you might think I’ve learned a lot, but there is always more to learn. I think most are aware of this fact, but it’s fun to watch it in real time. Here are two areas in which I’ve been growing recently.

The first one is in how to lead volunteers. Our church has an incredible ministry called Freeway Ministries, in which we present the gospel weekly to 70-100 people from a combination of homeless folks and men and women in local substance abuse recovery programs. Those people have to be picked up and brought to the church, and it requires a robust team of volunteers from the church body to drive vans and buses to pick them up and drop them back off every Saturday. As a leader in ministry for many years I’ve usually had organizational authority with which to hold people accountable, but with volunteers I’ve begun learning how to motivate, encourage, and cast vision to get them to want to follow my leadership. We have a great team, and they’re honestly not hard to lead, but I still want to lead them well, and I’ll never take for granted their willingness to show up.

Freeway Ministries has also given me the chance to learn more about a people group that I didn’t know before. When I went overseas long ago it was clear from the moment the plane door opened that I had a lot to learn about my target audience. The same is true now. With Freeway, I’ve learned much about God’s image bearers that are trapped in addiction, criminality, and homelessness and how to treat them, talk to them, and share Christ with them. Just like my first assignment, I have to shift my thinking and find new ways of engaging them as an incarnational missionary.

Conclusion

It never gets old. Following Christ always stays interesting, so be okay with the seasons God gives you and the transition from one to the next. Embrace his refining processes in your character and habits. Take your family with you and don’t rob them the joy of taking up their crosses and following Christ alongside you. Lastly, don’t stop growing. God is not boring, and he always has something else for you if you’re willing to step into it.